beauty in the beast series
'shut out 2'
oil on canvas, 24” x 48” $1,525
The 8 sections in the painting are the actual images seen in my operated eye 12 to 14 days after retinal detachment surgery. Changes in size, color, visual acuity, pupil size, time and location were documented at the time of change and served as the reference for this painting...meaning, no artistic license was taken. Prequels and sequels to 'inner vision' are already in progress.
Surgery for retinal detachment is an emergency intervention which encompasses 3 different procedures performed simultaneously to maximize full re-attachment of the retina, and these are: scleral buckle, removal of vitreous gel from behind the retina (called vitrectomy), and inserting a gas bubble. The healing process can take 3 to 6 months, depending on the individual.
In retinal detachment surgery, the gas bubble is usually black as seen in many of the images in the painting. But for me, the gas bubble color changed to brilliant hues of blues, greens and reds. Thinking light may be the contributing factor for the changing colors of the gas bubble when it 'should have been' black, I closed the operated eye. However, the colors intensified and became more brillant. Also of interest, is the smaller colorful circular shapes which I call the "nucleus" for lack of a better word, and looked like a living, breathing thing pulsating with life.
Marti Hand
paintings
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P.O. Box 1979 Decatur, GA 30031 USA I Tel: 678.464.6514
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Do you really want to know what retinal detachment surgery is like? Read on.
...disorientation...unsteadiness...gas bubble...despair…fear of not ever seeing again…never seeing light...disequilibrium…faltering…desolate…ugly…the "bad eye"…in the abyss…moments of panic…moments of anxiety…i want my old life back...what's going to happen to me?....i need to see to paint…i am so tired of this shit!...i'm scared...wish for 100% vision…my "good eye"…tears…darkness...god, please let me see again…why can’t this happen to criminals?...i’m afraid i’ll never see again…such fatigue…will i ever be able to see again?...the rationalization: “ok, if i’m able to see again, i’ll view it as a benefit”...how hard is it to learn Braille?…i’m disabled…never thought of myself as being disabled…protective of my "good eye"...fear of another retinal detachment in same eye…greater fear of retinal detachment in "good eye"…before you can conquer a beast, you first must make it beautiful...the pupil is enormous!...i can’t take this anymore!…i am NOT going to let this disability consume or control my life!…i hope i’m not going to be blind…my pupils are equal!...the colors are incredible...frosty vision…this is sooooo cool!…the gas bubble looks like a living, breathing thing…vision is like looking through frosted glass...
